Hey Guys Welcome to my Blog, my Name’s Caitlin Maree!
First off something exciting, I CHANGED MY BANNER WHOOO… I’m good, now onto the actual blog post xo
Today I went to school knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to get through the day without coming home. Either because I psyched myself out or because i just wasn’t going to get through the day.
I woke up and felt that feeling that I always dread, one of the things that makes me get so angry at myself… depersonalisation. I haven’t felt this in a loooong time (1-2 months), I was going great and, I knew that. But today, something just I guess, triggered it… and i don’t know what, but knowing the fact I am alive but don’t feel like I am… just annoys me so much.
”Depersonalisation can consist of a detachment within the self regarding one’s mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance.”
When i came home today, i talked to my nana about how i was feeling… and everything she said all along about me being claustrophobic was correct. So, today i decided to do something which I was dreading look up what it is and what it means.
”Claustrophobia is the fear of being enclosed in a small space or room and having no escape. It can be triggered by many situations or stimuli, including elevators crowded to capacity, windowless rooms, small cars and even tight-necked clothing.”
I fear of being in rooms with no easy access of escape, or not being at least 3 seats away from the door. I also fear of long dim hallways with no windows, both of which i encounter at school.
So now that i’ve figured out what is really disturbing me, i can tell the person i see about my anxiety and hopefully, soon, find a solution to help the fears.
I just wanted to update you, just incase you were wondering how I was going…
– Caitlin xoxo