At the end of last month (July) I submitted my entry into a competition to do with modelling. Now with my anxiety comes the dread that if i do get past online coaching that i will have to travel to QLD’s capital city. But because i love the idea of modelling and thoroughly enjoy it, i’m going to do even better than my best to push through if i make it that far.
So i’ve been gone for the past few days because i’ve been setting up my new YouTube channel, along with filming and editing my first video! Today i’m going to film a collective haul from the past few months and i will upload it next Sunday. I also will be filming and editing a video everyday next week. I’m doing this because i’ll then have videos for my channel for 6-7 weeks when school goes back. Also, i have all week 2 off next term because there’s a camp and i wont be attending. The camp actually goes for 3 days and 2 nights but that Monday is some holiday in Australia or my State and then theres no point going Tuesday because we won’t be doing anything. This means that i’ll have videos for the next 3 Months! I’m so pumped and motivated to kick off my new channel. If you were previously subscribed to Caitlin Maree please go and subscribe to BeautyBBee.
In this video i explain why i restarted and tell you quite a bit about me. If you want me to do a Q&A or have any requested videos, please comment them below.
As you might be able to tell from my previous post, i’ve been feeling really low lately. It always occurs when i’m at school, i just want to give up fighting and go home, but i know i can’t i need to get an education and i can’t just keep falling into the pit and asking for help and for someone to save me, i need to save myself. I need to try and keep pushing myself even though i’m feeling low and am about to crack.
It’s really hard to keep your head high when you’re feeling low, and sometimes, the best thing to do is take a break, and cry. Let your emotions out and talk to a close someone. Having your feelings pour out, even if they don’t make sense, can sometimes be that one thing that makes you heal. I’ve done this before, and i still do to this day. I still feel like giving up and not pushing on, but i do. Because you know what? I know i’ve felt worse in the past and i know there are people out there that are worse off then me. Even when i’m in sh** up to my knees.
I keep telling myself to push on, to not give up, calm down and to remember who else out there is feeling low, i’m not alone.
I want you to remember not about how you’re feeling when you’re low, but remember when you are happy and were living that great life. Because, if you work hard enough and have patience, there will be rewards. Think about how well your future will be and not about being single or not getting that scholarship. Because there is always going to be a second chance, even if people say there won’t be, if you work hard enough, chances will open up and there you’ll receive your second chance, because if you want it that bad, little openings will appear and you will make those small openings become bigger and achieve your goal.
Keep pushing on, don’t give up and remember the good times!
If you want to talk my email is email@example.com
So i’m going to start a Anxiety/ if you want to talk to me series. At the end of this post, if you’re wanting to talk to me, comment below and tell me you’ve emailed me on firstname.lastname@example.org . I will delete your comment so no one knows about your identity and if you’ve emailed me, I just want you to comment so I can get a reference/ I know that I need to check my emails straight away.
In todays post i’ll be talking about ”Anxiety”. Everyone will have Anxiety in some point within their life. But, as my Therapist says, ”Anxiety is essential to human life, you can’t live without anxiety”. I’ve only seen her once but i’ve learnt so much already. Anxiety drives us everyday, it helps us to make choices and decisions that impact on what we do. This kind of Anxiety is normal and is not diagnosed because it’s not serious. Let me tell you, if you’re experiencing physical effects from anxiety go see a therapist! I experience physical effects from anxiety everyday. I feel light headed or dizzy (but i haven’t for two weeks this Friday, yay) i get hot/ sweaty (still happening), i get numb legs and feel like i’ll fall over (happens whenever i walk/ still happening), racing heart, twitching muscles (i have this everyday at random times) and lastly; everyday i question, ”am i alive, is this real, how am i walking, am i dreaming – is my whole life a dream in my head, is this real- is this real- is this real- is this real?!??!
This is me asking you, how do i stop this!? I can’t literally go an even 1 hour without thinking am i alive is this real, and repeating that over and over and over agin and again! It really annoys me too because i know it’ll stop and go away eventually but i just don’t know when. I’ve talked to my mum about this and she actually went through THE SAME THING as me now, (but that was back when she was pregnant with me). I asked her how did she get rid of the thought, and all she said was, ”it just went away. I kept myself busy so i wouldn’t think about it and after some time the thought went away”. Obviously, this isn’t much help and because of my Anxiety and being a single child, i literally wouldn’t be able to sit down at all if i tried this.
Now i’m going to be giving tips on how to deal with the situation.
Dizzyness/ feeling hot
If you get dizzy, get out of there. It’s best to be in environment where you feel calmer and are comfortable. Now it’s hard if you’re at work or school, but, i have tips for that too.
If you’re at work or school, ask another team member or student to take over for a bit or take notes for you, go to the back room (toilet or sick bay at school), hop on your phone and text someone saying you feel dizzy, now this will only work of you have a team member and if that member actually cares, (some people won’t give two sh***, and this can be hard). Texting a friend that you feel unwell gives you a feeling of… eh, i’m not sure how to describe it…. assurance? But having someone know that I’m not feeling well seems to settle me down.
Drink water, for some this could make you feel worse, for myself it seems to help. Take small sips and not gulps, sips are slower where as gulps are faster and will increase your heart rate.
Go for a walk, fresh oxygen is important and so is exercise, this will stimulate your red blood cells and produce more oxygen to your brain and body, just make sure to take someone with you incase you faint.
Stay under air-con or have a fanpointed at you, sometimes panic attacks can be caused by the heat, so cooling yourself down will prevent the attack processing further.
Have a rest, resting your muscles for a bit can ease the twitching.
Wheat bag/ heat pack, when you have cramps a heat bag is that miracle worker, this also works for muscles too!
Numb legs/ parts of your body
Tell yourself everything will be ok, theres nothing you can really do for this apart from reassuring yourself that once you’ve finished what you have to do you can rest.
Calm yourself, this is hard especially if your panicking about the situation. Take deep breaths and count to 2 each time eg. breath in 1,2 breath out 1,2.
Close your eyes and put your hands to your heart, for me this works but for some i imagine that this could make the situation worse.
Now thats only physical effects, so as seen there is a lot to anxiety and for a non-professional aka myself, it’s hard to make sure what you’re saying is correct, i know for some, these things might work and for others it won’t, like I said, i’m not a professional and i cannot declare if you do have serious Anxiety. Also depending on what your experiencing i might be able to give more ideas on how to deal with the physical effects ❤
Now i’m generalising this because there are so many thoughts one can think of.
Take deep breathes
Concentrate on one object for 1-2 minutes, (lose focus, focus on a physical object)
Keep going, push yourself! It’s so hard i know, of all people i would know, but at the end of the day knowing you gave it your all and pushed through means that you can keep doing that and being successful if you put your mind to it.
Distract yourself by talking to friends, having people talk to you can help, just tell them if you’ve had enough and would like them to be quite after awhile.
One day at a time, don’t think overly of the future, focus on today and now.
Don’t say ”if”, saying words like ”should, have to, need to, ought to, must” are all negative words, replace these words with ”want, love, i think i should” more positive words, this can really change your mindset.
Guys that’s all i have for today. I’ve been typing for an hour and a half putting my heart and soul into this post for those who are in need of it, if there is anything you want me to add please tell me below xx For the sake of spreading positivity around and showing girls don’t wear makeup to impress others heres like the only picture i have of myself without makeup (how sad… this is from May last year).
I just need to learn to take my own advice and get through my Anxiety…
”If you want to talk, don’t be afraid to ask questions below or send me an email”
During the early hours (7am) of Tuesday morning i placed an order to Mecca Maxima and ordered two things.
Urban Decay, AfterDark eyeshadow palette
SmashBox, Photo-Finish lid primer
Both of which i’ll do a review on in the next few days. So if you’re thinking about buying those products, it’ll be a perfect opportunity for you to learn a thing or two.
Sadly today, i will be talking about something a little less exciting, yet, still pretty cool. I’m currently on level 2 of theMecca Maxima Beauty Loop.Basically this means that i spend $600-$1199 every year at Mecca to be able to be on level 2. Level 3 is the next level i will move onto but only if i spend over $1200 each year, and i don’t know if i’ll get that far, maybe when i’m older but definitely not at this age. I need to spend $511 by the 15/4/17 and obviously that being a month away is not going to happen. But, if i spend $384 by the 15/11/17 i’ll stay in level 2, which will probably happen, but again a healthy finance is important. Anyway, so you might wonder, how does this all related to the Mecca Birthday Gift? If i was you, i’d be thinking that too. Basically, what happens is, if you’re on level 2 or 3 you’ll be sent a gift when you next order online (within the next month or two, i believe). Now you can’t pick the gift and everyone gets the same present so, if you’re on level 2 you’ll recieve a ”Mecca Cosmetica, hand wash”. Whoop de do hey? Yeah, nah, i thought so too… So i wasn’t too happy with the item they give you like, why not give you a full sized lipstick or something? After all, you did spend over $600 to get to level 2, or at least, you should be able to pick your gift yourself. The hand wash also isn’t available online, so if you do so happen to fall in love with it, you can’t repurchase it. It also has a 12 month expiration date, so you should be using this hand wash up within 12 months, (supposedly). Another thing to point out, there is 400ml (13.52 Oz), so, it’s quite a generous amount.
The colour of the soap is a light yellow, the standard hand-wash colour from your supermarket, (wish it was blue or pink, or just tinted a nice colour). There are also a bunch of gorgeous smelling and natural ingredients in it, (i’m presuming that’s why the colour isn’t appealing, unfortunately there is chemicals in it so it’s not up to my Lush standards but it is not tested on animals!). Though, the scent is unbelievable! It’s so fresh and flowery, uh, it’s sublime.
Apricot Kernel oil
Other than that, i’m not sure what to say. There isn’t that much more to say about a hand-wash, apart from mention a few ingredients, mention the smell and what it looks like. And just so you know, no i haven’t tried it, and i don’t plan to until my two other hand-washes in my bathroom run out, so i can’t say whether or not it makes my fingers and palms feel like a babies bottom. I’m not expecting much, a hand-wash is a hand-wash and it’s job is to makeup your hands smell nice and remove germs, then again, it looks aesthetically pleasing, and would look right at home on a shelf of mine.
Overall, do i like it? Yes, the scent smells like fresh Gardenia’s and also has quite a few nourishing items in it. It looks aesthetically pleasing, (apart from he yellow colouring) and seems to be quite a nice item.
If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to leave a comment. I’ll get back to you as soon as i can.